If Your Favorite Halloween Candy Were a Sex Position…

Trick-or-treating may not be an adult pastime, but many Halloween candies, phrases, and themes sound like they could very well have an adult meaning, if you catch our drift. We took some favorites—from “the Tootsie Roll” to “the Monster Mash”—and reimagined them as sex acts. Here’s what we came up with…


halloween sex

The Mike & Ike = a threesome. See also: The Three Musketeers:

001 1

The Tootsie Roll = he suggests anal sex with you, and you laugh and roll over for missionary instead:

002 1

The Mounds = you let him finish on your chest after he gets you off:

003 1

The Jack-o’-Lantern = sex with the lights on (bonus level: sex with the lights off and a glow-in-the-dark condom on):

004 1

The Ghost = him going down on you underneath the sheet:

005 1

The Zombie = sleepy morning sex, before either of you has had coffee:

006 1

The Monster Mash = sex with an ex you love to hate but who’s amazing in bed:

007 1

The Dracula = giving his neck a light, friendly bite during sex:

008 1

The Now and Later = when the sex is so good you have to go back for seconds:

009 1

The Haunted House = pick a room in your house you’ve never fooled around in:

010 1
Tagged ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *